Fidelity to Truth; Serving Light in Complicated Places

At this time, many of the flaws and instances of misconduct by revered (or formerly revered) yoga teachers, gurus, and spiritual leaders are coming to light. Some of these involve sexual and financial exploitation of students and disciples. The “spirituality business” is built upon the very natural yearning of the soul to awaken.

"Like billowing clouds,
like the incessant gurgle of the brook,
the longing of the soul can never be stilled."
~ Hildegard of Bingen

There has always been a quiet tension in me between authentic spirituality and earning my living as a yoga and meditation teacher, work that genuinely nourishes my own inner life and, I hope, the lives of those I serve.

From the very first time I accepted payment for teaching yoga, a question arose in my heart: Does receiving money compromise my relationship with the Divine? Does it dim the Light I experience? Is something subtle lost when grace meets commerce?

“The spiritual journey is not a career or a success story. It is a series of humiliations of the false self that become more and more profound.”~ Fr. Thomas Keating

For twenty-five years now, I have continued in this vocation, trying to remain inwardly free. I strive not to be driven by profit, but by service. I recognize that a natural exchange exists; energy moves in both directions. I do not feel that I am exploiting anyone. I remain watchful of my heart.

And yet, the deeper questions persist. Now they take on a different form. What does it mean to work within systems that are themselves shaped by profit or shadow?

One place I teach is within the health care system, an environment undeniably structured around financial gain in this country. Yet even there, I witness something hopeful: a growing recognition of the human being as whole; body, mind, and soul. Within an imperfect structure, genuine healing still unfolds, and grace is present.

The other setting is more troubling. It is a local yoga ashram affiliated with a larger organization where there has been non-transparency and denial regarding the founder’s misconduct. He presented himself publicly as a celibate monk while engaging in sexual relationships with much younger female disciples. The truth was concealed. Witnesses were silenced. And still, the organization continues to profit while presenting him as a holy one.

Here the question becomes sharper: Is it right to participate in such structures? To receive compensation from institutions that do not embody the very truths they teach? Can one speak of integrity, awakening, and light from within a system that has harbored deception?

In prayer, I return to silence. I entrust the unrest of my heart to the Divine, asking for the gift of discernment. I sense that wherever I stand with sincerity, something of the Light is present. The healing offered to students is real. The invitation to awaken, to expand in awareness, is not negated by the imperfection of the container.
I pray that, if and when the time comes to step away, I will recognize it without self-deception. That I will be free enough to leave without looking back, trusting that the loss of a paycheck is small compared to fidelity to truth. I ask for the grace of a clear conscience and the courage to act when called. 
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Perhaps this, too, is part of the spiritual journey: another humbling of the false self, another surrender into truth, another invitation to trust that God’s providence is greater than any institution.



“And you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free.” Gospel of John 8:32

“The good (śreya) and the pleasant (preya) approach the human being. The wise choose the good over the pleasant.” Katha Upanishad 1.2.2

“Lord, who may abide in your tent? … Those who walk blamelessly, and do what is right, and speak the truth from their heart.” Psalm 15 1–2

“Satyameva jayate — Truth alone triumphs.” Mundaka Upanishad 3.1.6

​“Therefore, without attachment, perform always the work that must be done.” Bhagavad Gita 3:19