The Girl Within
I think of the little girl that is still within me. The little girl that likes to play and love and cuddle, and needs to learn to do things all by herself.
Sri Swami Satchidananda, who brought yoga to the West and my teacher, spoke of having a dual vision, living as an individual and yet being part of the One. He spoke of being conscious and aware and playing one’s part well. I pray for his guidance.
I have opened my heart, opened my mind, dissolved all boundaries and got lost in the ocean of blissful Oneness. I also got lost in the shadows only to find my Self again like a Phoenix rising from the ashes.
Who am I?
How do I live in this world?
Am I that “me” which keeps feeling the same? Even after all these years?
Are you that also?
What do I think I am not?
I fondly remember the innocence of being that little girl, the ability to be open to new frontiers, ever learning, ever evolving. I need her now to remind me of being and loving so freely. I remember delighting in beauty and not being troubled by the wrong doing or the right doing. I remember existing beyond all that with a sense of timelessness and simplicity. Just as is, just as day turns into night and winter into spring, without fuss or judgment, simply being in the midst of it all.
That little girl’s “me” still feels the same even though I am almost 50 now. That same “me” is looking in the mirror, “me” who was checking out her earrings when she was 5. I wish I could have been there for her when she was struggling and frightened.
I do love that little girl. I wish I could go back in time and hug her.
2/24/2021 01:17:53 pm
Fantastic Diana, I wish I could go back in time and give that little “you” a big hug too!
2/24/2021 02:06:11 pm
What a blessing to read this on my birthday. Thank you for reminding me of her.
2/24/2021 09:33:08 pm
I look at my daughter that way...wondering what she'll forget about herself that I so adore about her. I give her as many hugs today in hope it will fill her up in the days when I'm not with her. Thanks for sharing and opening this dialogue
2/25/2021 04:58:32 am
I love the dual Nsture of living for oneness...yet living in our individual shadows....We only met briefly in the ashram..but I see you....and appreciate you....and sharing your feelings...and tenderness......sending virtual hugs and support.....oso
2/25/2021 01:36:01 pm
Wonderful, thank you for sharing yourself with me (us) <3
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